Take Me Out

You remember that feeling when you were trying to desperately fall in love with someone by taking them out on "Dates", buying them things that you think will make you seem more attractive to them? No? Oh don't worry about it then ...

Seriously though the days of going on dates seem to be dead as now we can all find love on our old mate Television!

Take Me Out is a relitively new show where some slightly bedraggled, moronic, plain Jane women judge an equally irritating little prick who gyrates in front of them in order to catch their eye in a display not too dissimilar to a giant wanking peacock with learning difficulties.

Anyway the format of the show works like this: a guy is introduced to the "ladies" and after answering questions from the host and showing some videos of the guy(usually being "wacky" or "crazy"), the women decide whether they like him or not by leaving their light on or turning it off and so creating one of the best catchphrases of all time "no likey, no lighty!"

If by the end of all the humiliating gyrating and cocking about there are still any desperate women with their lights left on the guy gets to chose which one of the beautiful chavs he wants to take out on a date.

The worst thing about this show isn't its shit format or the 2 dimensional idiots they have on the show but the host. Paddy Mcguiness reels off pun after cliche after cringe infested link to camera. He seems to have as much genuine whit and character as a 3 month old used sanitary towel.

The only way this show could be any worse is if it somehow managed to spawn a spin off hosted by Catherine Tate, where former contestants come back and haunt the audience with stories of how they got married and then give a detailed description of how really happy and amazing their lives were until the day he left because he realised that she was devoid of any kind of personality or intelligence.

That actually sounds like a show I would watch, its such a shame I just made it up.

Why I Love The Black Keys

Yes its a positive blog for once. I know if anyone reads this blog then they will know by now that I rarely have anything positive to say that isn't steeped heavily in irony and sarcasm. However this week I am going to get all of my smiles and happy thoughts out for all the world to see.

So the Black keys have been around for a few years now and have amassed some really good albums in that time including their debut bluesy feeling The Big Come Up, Attack and Release and most recently Brothers. I have massively enjoyed all of the albums so far but none quite like Brothers.

The reason for this is not really known to me as it follows much the same formula that has been used in the past albums but somehow this time around its just much better. I know what you are thinking "this album came out ages ago. why is he talking about it now?" Ill answer that question in a minute.

First I feel I should point newcomers in the direction of the black keys latest music video which I am a big fan of. Its called Howlin' For You, the song its self is pretty good but is made all the better for a rather brilliant video to go with it. You can see it here.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLSpj7q6_mM

So to answer the question of why I am talking about it now. The reason is that when I first heard the album I was not a fan of it in any way. I feel this is the case with a lot of albums in the past that don't get given a chance to grow and be loved by their audience. A classic example of this is The Rolling Stone's Exile on Main Street as when it was released Rolling Stone had this to say about it, "there are songs that are better, there are songs that are worse, and others you'll probably lift the needle for when the time is due." This album has since been celebrated by the exact same people who panned it when it came out.

Some other tracks to listen out for on the album are unknown Brother, The only one and actually all the other tracks...

The Idiot Box

It seems too easy sometime to have a go at television with its need to appeal to as many people as it possibly can. This means having to appeal to idiots and geniuses alike, so sometimes you do get a slight lean towards the idiots because thats just easier innit.

Take the joke of British terrestrial broadcasting, Channel FIVE for example here with its lightweight throwaway celebrity news coverage and its soft porn at 3am on a Sunday morning. These are reasons for the channel's bad reputation and possible the reason it's still going.

Lets take a look at a day in the life of Channel FIVE: The channel awakes to the sounds of children playing and singing nursery rhymes.Five wipes its sleepy eyes in time for 9:15 am when reactionary day time chat show The Wright Stuff kicks off. Usually such heavy topics are discussed such as "Has Hamza Damaged Islam" where they get the views of renowned religious expert John Barrowman to help further enhance the relationship between throwaway homosexual celebrity and religious war.

Casual racism seems to be a popular topic, where Johnny Wright or whatever his name is makes jokes about getting all the illegal immigrants to power the country by some kind of mass slave exercise bikeathon, oh what will he think of next?

Maybe I'm being a little harsh on them because there are worse channels on digital TV than channel FIVE, such as The God channel( which has yet to have an interview with God), Nazi TV and Rape HD.