Snow Worries

So it snowed and everyone died in a terrible cold water related accident.

That is what you would think had happend if you had watched any rolling news channel or picked up a news paper in the last few weeks. The truth is that the country is totally unprepared to cope with a foot of snow and even an inch in some areas.

Every year seems to be the same as local councils somehow manage to forget that every year snow needs to be taken seriously and precautions need to be taken.

Well, you know its easy for me to sit here and critiscise the government, simply because they are shit.

Dont get me wrong I understand that it must be difficult to predict when it will snow, where it will snow and how much it will snow because its not like we have people who's only job it is to handle this is it?

Americant But English Can

It seems to me when I look at the best television shows coming out of America within the last few years a hell of a lot of the actors are English or British.

The first series that comes to mind is The Wire. Not only was it and maybe still is the best show on television but it featured a wealth of British actors in major roles.

The first and most important is the character Jimi who is played by Dominic West. He is not only sort of the lead character but a bloody good and important one too.

For those who haven't seen the series first of all, what the fuck have you been doing with yourself for the last 8 years! Secondly James Mcnaulty is a sort of typical American/Irish piss bead. He enjoys such things as drinking his trademark Jameson whisky, pissing on railway lines, befriending stick up kids and singing along to the pogues. He is the glue that holds the show together for 4 of it's 5 series.

This is not the only character in this great show to hail from Britain as Stringer bell, (Idris Elba) the smart business school educated and drug dealing gangster is somehow from London and recently had his own show Luther, Which received mixed reviews.

Now I know what you who haven't seen the series are thinking, these guys must play bumbling Hugh Grant types in this series but it is the complete opposite as they play full blooded beef jerky chewing and budlight swigging Americans! Well maybe not bud light but they defiantly are convincing.

These are not the only people that pop up in the show who are of British origin by any means. The eventual mayor of the city of Baltimore, Vincent carcetti is also a British boy having been born and lived in Ireland for much of his life. Also having a major role in that show queer as folk. Remember that from the 90s?

Other notable English or British actors toilig in the American T.V business include Hugh laurie in house, Sonia Walger in lost, Damien Lewis in the brilliant Band Of Brothers and Natasha mcelhone in Californication, to name a few.

Long gone are the days where actors like Christopher Ecklestone have to play annoying English guys like in gone in 60 seconds, which also features Vinnie Jones for some reason. British actors are right up there in both American tv and American film.

I could go on about Stephen Graham in the new Boardwalk Empire and all the other British actors in Band Of Brothers but you would get bored so I won't.

Was He a Good Guy?

Yes he tried to blow up the houses of parliament but would it have been a good thing and by celebrating his death are we doing the right thing? Also do we actually celebrate his death or has this day become like Christmas and just a money making commercial rip off with shit fireworks?

I have started with a lot of questions in this blog and to be honest I would be surprised if I managed to answer any let alone all of them.

So I start the only way I can and that is with my personal opinion about this subject. This however is harder than I thought it would be, being that I actually have very little knowledge of these events. Now I know what you are thinking this is most out of the ordinary for one of my blogs and I agree, I usually am in possession of all of the salient pieces of information but this time I'm gonna wing it!

As I understand guy fawks was a bit of a bin laden of his time and thought "I don't like those politicians so I'm gonna blow them up". This is where my facts run out.

I have found out since typing the first half of this essay, and it is an essay, that Fawkes wanted to kill the king for religious reasons.

Now I was annoyed when I discovered this as I was thinking he was a guy who wanted to show something to the world and change it for the better, where as in reality him and his mates on parliament hill just wanted a guy, or more accurately a girl and even more accurately the kings daughter, who followed their deluded religious beliefs, in the hot seat.

As we all know he and his gang did't succeed in their mission. The punishment I feel was harsh even taking into account that they tried to kill the king.

Anyway I'm getting ahead of myself. Guy was captured and tortured until he gave up the names of his accomplices, which he did after days of unimaginable pain. The sentence they were handed was death after being found guilty of high treason.

However the king was pissed and decided to not only kill them but quite literally cut their genitals off and burn them in front of their eyes, followed by a spot of hang draw and quartering, followed by bowel removal and ending in making them watch an entire series of the Catherine Tate show. One of these punishments is made up.

Guy Fawkes didn't fancy any of the above so took a dive off the top of the hanging gallery and broke his neck.

The king was a little annoyed by this and decided to still inflict the punishment on Guy even though he was actually dead and would no longer be bothered by it.

Well now for the conclusion... Guy Fawkes was a bit naughty trying to kill the king but cutting a guys nuts off and making him watch them burn? Seems harsh.

Cheryl Cole "the nation's new sweetheart"

We all love her don't we? The way she is on T.V every 7.8 seconds in adverts talking on The X factor and crying on chat shows because her life has been so hard. BOOO HOOO!

However all that aside here is something most people are not aware of about our new Princess Diana.

Cheryl started her tabloid life in the year of our lord 2002 when she was herself competing on a reality show and finally ending up in the manufactured pop group Girls Aloud. It wasn't until the following year that she really started to show her true colours(that last sentence will be funny when you read the next bit).

Yes.. Anyway I was talking about how Cheryl "the nations new sweetheart" Cole , got herself into the papers. On 11 January 2003 Cheryl Cole then known as Cheryl Tweedy(I know its complicated but do persevere), was involved in an "altercation" with a nightclub toilet attendant named Sophie Amogbokpa in Guildford. Cheryl "the nations new sweetheart" Cole was subsequently charged with racially aggravated assault. You want to know why she was charged with racially aggravated assault, well I will tell you why because she called Sophie Amogbokpa a "Caribbean jigaboo" and a "black bitch".

Now I have a problem with all of this but the fact that she used the words "Caribbean jigaboo" shows that it wasn't a crime of passion and it just slipped out but a carefully planned and rehearsed verbal and physical attack. I mean who in the heat of passion during a fight would have a quick enough brain to think of such a specific racial insult and we all know she is from Newcastle so isn't the brightest of people either.

So there you have it England the nations sweetheart is a Racist. Its true you cant argue with a blog because it wouldn't be on the internet if it wasn't true!

The jury found her guilty of assault occasioning actual bodily harm, but cleared her of racially aggravated assault.

George Osborne: '"It will always pay to work"

• £81bn cut from public spending over four years
• 19% average departmental cuts - less than the 25% expected
• £7bn extra welfare cuts, including changes to incapacity, housing benefit and tax credits
• £3.5bn increase in public sector pension employee contributions
• Rise in state pension age brought forward
• 7% cut for local councils from April next year
• Permanent bank levy
• Rail fares to rise 3% above inflation from 2012

I didn't vote in the election..... so that means this isn't my fault right?

Wane Rooney?

No I didn't just spell his name wrong. Think about it for a second..... yes well done you figured it out.

So Wayne Rooney has said he wants to leave Manchester United and everyone is going crazy in the football world about it while at the same time conveniently forgetting about him sleeping with two prostitutes while his wife was pregnant.

Now a lot of people are say and writing things like, why? how dare he? They are also writing all the other things newspapers like to ask questions about but no one seems to realise the truth.

The simple truth is that a footballer is in most cases a complete idiot. When I say this I am not having a go at them but stating some facts. The reasons for this are that these guys do not live lives like us, they do not have worries like us, they don't have to do everything for themselves and they are under educated.

Take for example a football player who is 24 years old, as Rooney is, for the last 8-10 years of his life has had people telling him he is amazing and he can do anything he wants. They also throw money at him in the hundreds of thousands each week. They handle his money, they tell him things he wants to hear, they negotiate huge and ridiculous wage rises, get people to do their shopping and take care of all the mundane things that keep people grounded and ultimately normal. So anyone might be slightly messed up mentally if they had no real responsibilities in life and no real worries other than kicking a ball into a goal.

It seems to me that a guy like Wayne Rooney might lose his grasp on reality a little when he earns upwards of £200000 a week. Also you have to think about what he can spend it all on because drugs are out of the window as he cant because of the football and all that.

So for me the only other thing to spend the money of is sex workers of the female variety.

Anyway I am going off topic slightly. The question I asked at the beginning was Wayne Rooney going down in popularity?

Well the answer is yes he is going down in popularity and rightly so as he is only a fucking football player! He gives nothing of any worth to the world. He is a disposable shell of a human that will be replaced when the next young guy comes along.

He doesn't even have any redeeming features like some football players such as David Beckham as women don't fancy Wayne Rooney and we know this because he had to pay them to sleep with him.

So Wayne move to Real Madrid like the last two Manchester United Players who fell out with Sir Alex and be done with it. You are boring me now. Oooh I want to leave boo hoo. Fuck off!

"Just Look At These Scenes"

I woke up this morning on Wednesday the 13th of October 2010 and picked up my laptop. I then went onto Facebook and had a little look at what people have put on their status in an attempt to seem more interesting than they actually are. Then after this went on to the BBC website and saw that the 33 Chilean miners had started to be rescued from the mine that has kept them prisoner for the past few months.

Now this was genuinely emotional and quite beautiful to see a working class guy who has gone through a terrible ordeal finally reunited with his wife and children. The thing that did slightly spoil it was the fact that it was being broadcast on the most annoying of news formats ,that I am sure you are familiar with, BBC News 24.

The main reason I get annoyed while watching Live rolling news is because nothing happens for a long time and there is air time to fill so the commentator has to endlessly fill the void in excitement with inane musings and shear conjecture about what may or may not happen.

I don't know who the guy was that commentated on this but I found myself being taken out of the moment and its genuine emotion and catapulted into an irrelevant, disposable, shamelessly and needlessly heart string pulling, manipulative, disgracefully over hyping and sometimes incomprehensible sentence filled reality show.

I was actually annoyed while happy and touched at the same time which was odd. It seems to be the case on news channels that things don't happen quickly live and it is the job of the person commentating to fill the gaps of nothing happening with stupid rhetorical questions and endless suspense building finally culminating in removing all emotion and actual excitement from the sometimes quite extraordinary scenes by saying such insightful things like "he looks happy" or "she is crying" which are obvious to even the most dimwitted of news viewers of which I am sure there are many.

So thank you live BBC News coverage for spoiling what could have been a beautiful moment of TV history by having a posh bloke saying "Just look at these faces around here, everyone watching these moments." and "look at these moments now the men embracing each other, the men exhausted". I mean we get it. We understand how fucking lucky they are to get out alive and how big a deal it is to be freed so why endlessly hammer home that point with all the eloquence of a drunk toothless cabbie from Essex!

There really should be an option to turn off the stupid guy ruining most live news broadcasts. Then I suppose there is and its called the mute button.

RMT PPE Now Includes Nappies

FYI as an American douche would say, PPE is an abbreviation for Personal Protective Equipment.

Southern Railway have announced a new type of train they will be introducing on certain routes in the near future. The new and "improved" train boasts more room for passengers, easier and more flexible space for wheelchair and bicycle users and errrr no toilets. Sorry? What was that? Err, yeah no toilets on these new trains. Well, what if someone needs to go to the toilet while they are on the train then? “Well, we will only be using these trains on certain routes that will be under half an hour”. Oh well, that's fine then, sorry I even mentioned it.

This however doesn't seem to be the case at all, as the trains are scheduled to be used between Portsmouth and Brighton which take around an hour and a half. But hold on - you said they were only going to be used on short journeys of half an hour or less? “Well, I don't think I said that”. No you definitely just said that earlier, but now you're going to use them between Portsmouth and Brighton even though that journey takes about an hour and a half? “But I...” (starts to sniff) Well don't cry.... I mean, just think about it next time yeah? Come on its not that bad just put some toilets in them it will be fine.

Anyway, that rather bizarre conversation aside, this really does have to be quite a terrible idea. Just imagine sitting on the new train after having enjoyed a lovely day trip to Brighton with the family. You're tired, it’s been a long day you just want to relax and have a nice chat with your Nan. You look around you and you see more old people. You look to your left and it's a knitting club’s annual day out. You look to your right and overhear a conversation about how the minibus broke down and the Portsmouth based care home had to use the train to get back from its weekly prune tasting course. You look behind you and you see a small child drinking a 2 litre bottle of water. Finally, a confused father of 3 walks past you holding a nappy and then suddenly you realise there are no toilets on the train.

You start to get a little edgy and regret those extra 3 pints of beer you had at the pub. You start trying to think of possible alternatives to a toilet like a policeman's hat, but ah… that's only for pregnant women. You consider telling the officer that your wife is pregnant and she needs to make use of his hat. You broach this subject with the wife and she assumes this is somehow an attempt to call her fat so you think of another idea. You think maybe I’ll go in the bin but then you remember you can’t go in front of other people, and that's why you have used the cubicle in the men's toilets for the last 30 years of your life.

You start to run out of ideas as you consider using your daughters book bag to hide your mothers shame. But, in the end you have to give in to the inevitable truth that soon you will have to say that one sentence you thought you would never have to say in your entire life " Nan, if you need to go just shit in my hat".

Smooth Sailing For The Good Ship Albion

This week saw The Libertines reunite for not only one warm up gig but a warm up for the warm up gig.

I was very lucky to have a chance to attend the "Friends and Family" warm up for the official warm up that took place on the Wednesday. Confused? Well you must be thick then!

Anyway being a big fan of The Libertines I jumped at the chance to see their first gig in around 6 years.

We arrived at The Forum in Kentish town at 19:00 and were kindly told that the doors didn't open until 19:30. So we came back later and joined the queue. The security made an attempt to be funny by telling my girlfriend that she wouldn't be able to take her perfume into the gig at which point she look horrified as it was a Channel perfume the best perfume known to man! She was reassured that it was indeed a joke and it would be fine. This then lead to an odd conversation I had with the gentleman about how if it was a reggae night he wouldn't have let us in with the perfume as some people spay it and set it on fire! I agreed that it wasn't a good idea to do it and then looked hopefully in the direction of the box office on the off chance they could very quickly get me out of this potentially dangerous conversation. The conversation could only go wrong as I have a habit of becoming over familiar with people who start a conversation with me and make some kind of crass generalisation about their race or heritage well and truly for comic effect.

Luckily Lady luck was on my side and the box office called us over. We made the requested donation to the charities picked by the band and we were in!

At last we were inside the gig. The venue was awash with skinny jeans, no socks and deck shoes. Trilby hats were another favourite with the fans too. I did notice a few famous faces such as Barack Obama, Andy Townsend, The man from the Mr Muscle ads, Cherie Blair and The Dave half of Chas and Dave.

None of the above people were actually there or are in any way fans of or associated with The Libertines.

So we took some seats near the front and eagerly awaited the arrival of one of the favourite bands of my teen years. Another look around and I managed to spot Mickey Mouse, Ken Barlow and Lionel Blair. Again none of which were actually present.

They burst onto the stage without introducing themselves (didn't really need to as everyone there was either friends, family and had not recently escaped from an eight year imprisonment by an oversized rock) and launched straight into "Horror show".

The first few songs the band looked a little like they were only doing this whole reunion thing for a million pounds or so. This however did improve as they got to the song "Vertigo" when Pete and Carl shared the mic in typical Libertines Homoerotic subtext fashion.

The seating arrangement was becoming a farce as there were about 200 people now in the front two rows "moshing" and being generally excited with what they were witnessing.

I really did enjoy the show and though towards the end after many cigarettes (Naughty boys smoking inside!) Pete and Carl did seem to time travel to before the day Pete burgled Carl's house or the many times he didn't show up for gigs or any of the extremely rock n roll things they have done and back to the time when they were at their best.

However not all the band seemed to enjoy the show or even look at all like they wanted to be there. The bass player, I think his name is Clive or something (John Hassel) looked as if he had been told before the gig that Pete was going to shoot up on stage and then pull his trousers down and excrete on the many cheering fans as they dance and fight their way through The Libertines back catalogue. This may sound odd to you unconnected plebs who were not on the guest list for the event but if you had seen the expression on the face of the bass player then you would understand what I'm talking about.

I genuinely think that if the band were not offered something in the region of £1.4 million then the bass player would more than likely be at home with the wife and kid. I have to be honest it did spoil the show a bit for me as the other band members tried to fake their way through the gig and for a few strong minutes I actually forgot about all the rubbish they got up to between the breaking up and right now and was just happy to see them playing together, but the bass player did not want to act. He was not happy and he let everyone in the crowd know it when at the end of the gig the other three hugged in a line and bowed to the audience and the bass player cringed and half heartedly joined in like a forced Nick Griffin having to shake the hand of a gay, welsh, black, Muslim mother of 4.

Anyway I wish "The Good Ship Albion" all the best at Reading and Leeds this weekend. You boys will bloody well need it!

Football Football Football Football Football We All Love Football!

The Football season is back and I can now rest knowing that I wont be called a "Prick" for not supporting England any more.

I enjoyed the world cup and watching all the world best players on the same stage. I enjoyed being disappointed after every game because Ronaldo or Henry didn't actually seem like they were bothered.

I also enjoyed watching England v Germany in a pub near Hyde Park. I say enjoyed but I actually mean felt like throwing up at the sound of fully grown fat men shouting the phrase "fucking Krauts" and other world war 2 based Racism when a frankly better German side beat the English side 4-1.

Anyway that's all in the past now so lets move on to the new season. The first weekend saw victories for new boys Blackpool beating a lacklustre Wigan 4-0, Manchester United beating Newcastle United 3-0. There were also victories for Chelsea and Blackburn as well as Aston villa and Wolves.

Liverpool after having a somewhat of a errrrr lets call it shit season last time around started against an arsenal side that could finally show that all that passing does win you trophies. The game ended 1-1 thanks to a goal from the new and improved N'Gog and a mistake from the usually solid Pepe Reina in the Liverpool goal gifting them a very later equaliser.

There have been many strange things happen in pre season that I cant explain and don't really want to. Like the hilarious interview with Marlon King on a BBC radio show where he and presumably his partner tried to make it out like he "never punched the female" or done a rape on her. He didn't actually say "done a rape" but he might as well have for it would have been consistent with the proven eloquence of the man.

There have also been some other football players getting in trouble in the last few months non football related things such as old Charles N'Zogbia for getting someone else to sit his driving theory test for him, Ashley Cole no doubt slept with another northern woman convicted of a racially motivated attack ( yes our lovely Cheryl Tweedy Cole is a racist), Alan shearer was caught dogging in a car park in hull, Peter crouch had sex with 3456 people in one night and last but not least Paul Gascoigne tried to give a murdering friend of his a six pack of beer.

Bizarrely some of them are actually true.

So it looks to be a good season ahead with I am sure one or two Chelsea marriages coming to an end and the odd bit of dogging for Alan Shearer and who knows the new papers might actually print something to do with a footballer kicking a ball rather than a woman's face but lets not expect too much from the Daily Mail just yet......

Dyer Politics or a Canning Plan?

Today Danny Dyer has announced he has entered the leadership race to become the next leader of the labour party. The 32 year old actor from Canning Town said he was "buzzing" when asked how he felt about his chances of becoming Gordon browns replacement.

Mr Dyer joins brothers, Ed and David Miliband who have also announced they plan to run.

His entry has caused a debate amongst some Mps who have branded Mr Dyer as a “prat”. However one senior Politician described MR Dyer as “a terribly one dimensional actor”. Therefore giving him a chance to follow in the footsteps of Gordon Brown and Tony Blair.

Mr Dyer was keen to highlight some of his ambitions and policies which include cheaper West Ham tickets and lowering the price of Stella in all East end pubs as well as legalising skunk and "Charlie"

It remains to be seen whether Danny Dyer can gain the support from mps, unions and labour members if he is to have an impact on the race.

More to Follow...

Too Fat To Fight

Sometimes this stuff writes itself.

America, The U.S.A is one of the biggest countries in the world both in a geographical sense and in terms of the size of their bulging bottoms. Forbes puts it as number 9 in its fattest countries list.

What is interesting and makes The US a very unique country is how people react to the fact that 74.1% of their citizens are overweight. Most countries around the world try and encourage their people to loose weight for health and quality of life reasons but not our mates over the water.

Just think for a second about the reasons you would be worried about being overweight. Most rational people will come up with similar reasons to lose weight which include health reasons, image issues, being able to buy clothes made for humans and just generally feeling fitter and happier as a person.

In England we chose Jamie Oliver to help save the ever growing arses of our youth with an annoyingly well intentioned campaign that went all the way to the prime minister via a load of idiotic mothers passing burgers through school fences and all that tosh you remember, but again our American cousins chose a much more dramatic way to fix this problem.

I do have to give the Americans credit for thinking of things I could never have thought to worry about.

So do you know who the Americans have worrying about the size of their children? cant guess? come on! Who do the Americans call upon when they are bored and need something to do to make them selves feel better? Yes! You figured it out well done.

Oh and if you didn't figure it out its the army!

Yes that's right in America they see it as a matter of national security that the children our ramming super-sized burger after super-sized burger down their throats.

To be fair the army haven't actually called in Jack Bauer to come in and blow up McDonald's and save the day just yet. At the moment it is just some old retired generals with nothing better to do than pine for the days when people used to listen to them and respect their opinion.

These guys are really worried not for the sake of the children's health but for the fact that they might not be able to die for their country in a war. I can hear it now and this is what I imagine they are saying " Hey listen here son you gots ta lay off all that eatin cos if you dont you cant grow up and fight in this here war and be a hero like ya uncle sam."

The irony ,that the army wants to save the children from dying of obesity so they can die 15 years later under the impression of fighting a worthy and legal war.

The Military has tried to insure it has new recruits once before when in 1946 they introduced post-school lunch laws. They recognised that poor nutrition reduced the pool of military recruits.

"We must act, as we did after World War II, to ensure that our children can one day defend our country, if need be."

After reading this quote from Mr Shalikashvili and Mr Shelton former chairmen of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff I just wonder how long the gap between the comma and "if need be" was?

Is it just me or do we need to question the mentality of a country that wants to improve the health of its young so they can grow up and kill the young of another country?

See you thought Americans were just a load of cow boys who didn't actually think about things. They are clever people who care about their country and want to defend it in every possible way from the inevitable and impending attacks.

Some say Paranoia but I say intelligence. x

Gillingham to Southampton Via Sheppey and Sheppey and Sheppey and Sheppey

This has to go down as Tit of the week.

"A lost sailor has had to be rescued after running out of fuel circling a small island when he thought he was sailing around the UK coast."(BBC news)

The man set off from the beautiful picturesque marina of Gillingham Kent heading for Southampton. As anyone attempting what was going to be their maiden voyage you assume he would have taken the necessary equipment in order to navigate his way to Southampton. You know the usual Marine Charts that would easily guide you on your journey? No? Well neither did he. He chose not to bother with such things, he thought you know what's better than a Marine chart? I think ill take a road map. Yeah that'll get me there.

So off he set with his road map and oh wait no life vest? No of course not. That's just unnecessary isn't it really? Its just for those squares who worry all the time about being safe and actually making it to where you want to go, Fuck all that.

Now well on his way to Southampton fully equipped with everything he needs including a Road map so he can find his way and the genius navigational plan of "keeping the coast to his right" he starts to wonder why the journey is taking so long and why he is nearly out of fuel because he later reveals "he could do the whole journey by car in less than one tank"

He thinks nothing of this and sticks to his plan. Remember the plan? yes that's it keep the coast to the right nothing can go wrong with such a well thought out plan can it?

Yes lots can go wrong. The brave sailor end up not making his way around the south east coast of England, past Whitstable, Herne bay, Margate, Ramsgate, Deal, Dover, Folkstone, Hythe, New Romney, Hastings,

Eastbourne, The Beautiful Brighton, Worthing and so on but endlessly circling the small isle of Sheppey sticking courageously to the plan of keeping the coast on his right.

When found by Neville Crane, of the Isle of sheppey HM coastguard rescue team, the man told him he had owned the boat for less than a day and he was very surprised that its fuel consumption was greater than his car.

Good old Neville Crane said "He was very short on expertise, even shorter on safety equipment and had no navigational equipment whatsoever on board."

Now I think Neville is being a little harsh here because he defiantly had at least two navigational tools. Remember? Yes of course, the oh so trusty road map and the plan to keep the coast to his right.

Our mate Nev did give the man some good advice however and I too agree with his advice and would also give this to anyone upon hearing them tell me they are going to try and sail to Southampton from Gillingham in a boat they bought this morning after having no experience in sailing and using a road map and the plan of keeping the coast to their right.

His advice, simple, accurate and just down right good "he'd be better off making the journey by train."

N-Dubz We Trust

Now if you are unaware and i hope you are, of N-Dubz this is how their own website sums them up:

"You’ve heard of us, even if you don’t know it yet. Remember that boy driving you mad every morning on the No.42? The one playing music on his mobile at full volume? He’s listening to our music. So is his sister, his best mate, his best mate’s older brother, and his teacher.

Throughout our career we’ve strived to become masters of melody, kings of the chorus and rulers of the adlib. Simply put, we balance straight-up pop smashes with a street smart style, and our music’s for everyone.

“We make songs for your mum, your dad and your nan”

Three years ago we were practically unknown but through hard work and perseverance we’ve cultivated a wide and loyal fan-base and now all across the country people know us by our signature catchphrases of “Na-na-nii”, “Ha ha, ha ha” and “It’s N-Dubz (N-Dubz) What!”

As well as our love of eye-catching head wear, it feels like it’s our time now, and our growing fan base seems hungry to hear more. We know it’s rare to come across a group you totally believe in and there are a lot of good acts in the UK, but great ones? No so many, but we definitely aim to change that! "

Ah see you remember them now. They're the reason you were annoyed on the No42 bus and wanted to punch the little prick in the face and stamp on his mobile phone but you didn't and do you know why you didn't? because you are not "street" like him.

Yes its a hard pill to swallow i know but not all of us can be street. Its true some have the ability to get a job, buy a car even have children but only a select few have what it takes to be street.

Another thing i find interesting about N-Dubz (maybe interesting is the wrong word) is their catchphrases which include “Na-na-nii” and “Ha ha, ha ha”

Now, a few things to point out here “Na-na-nii” is a shit catchphrase but ill let them have it but “Ha ha, ha ha” isn't so much a catchphrase but just laughing.

I don't know about your Mum, Dad and Nan but mine don't listen to N-Dubz and I think I would be safe to assume that yours don't either.

I don't mean to get really picky but I'm going to. Another of their "catchphrases" is “It’s N-Dubz (N-Dubz) What!” A few points again the first being its just a shit catchphrase but then they used up all their creativity that day coming up with “Na-na-nii” so I can understand no ones perfect.

Point two is it a statement of fact or a question? Are they saying we are N-Dubz and what are you going to do about t? Or is it a statement that they have changed their name to N-Dubz, N-Dubz What!

Notice I have yet to even try and tackle their lyrics other than the so called catchphrases and this is because I cant even be bothered to listen to them.

Don't visit their Myspace http://www.myspace.com/ndubz

Or buy their album AGAINST ALL ODDS