How the Jews Killed Jesus

This is part of the new education series that will start to appear on this blog from time to time. The first part is a detailed explanation of how the Jews killed Jesus.

Religion is of course a delicate subject as it brings with it a lot of historical baggage, some of which is contradictory and confusing. The aim of this is to get some kind of actual answer to how the Jews were responsible for his death.

It seems sometimes that some religious people are fucking mental. This is evident in the Louis Theroux documentray aired on the BBC a few months ago where he went back to visit the most hated family in america. A family that earnt its reputation by celebrating all of gods actions even the death of soldiers, by pickiting their funerals with signs like"God Hates Fags", "Thank God For Aids" and the one that interests us most here today "the Jews Killed Jesus".

The documentary consists of lots of bizzar interviews with quiet possibly deranged human beings on the subject of homosexuality, Death and The Jewish faith. At one point Louis comments upon seeing an anti Jewish video "that has to be one of the most offensive things I have ever seen".

From my own very limited understanding of all this I was under the illusion that Jesus was killed by the Roman empire. Research shows this to be a view in one case where I read that he was crucified, which was a Roman punishment for anyone who thought they were a king and did not respect that the ceaser was the highest position that could be held by man. Thats what it says in the gospel and we all know that means it must be true.

In fact in my favorite novel The Bible (Gods word dictated but not read:AD 70) it says this in John 19:12 as: "every one who makes himself a king sets himself against Caesar."

So far it is assumed that Jesus was killed by The Romans for being too big for his boots and that. Not giving props to the Caesar and going around giving it large. So where do the Jews come into the picture? Wasn't Jesus Jewish?

From what little I can find about why the Jewish are blamed, I have come to a conclusion. The Christian movement was getting grief from the Romans because they didn't want anyone else to be king other than Caesar. So what the Jesus/Christianity movement did was after being allied with the Jewish as part of an attempt to remove The Romans they decided to turn their back on them and blame them for the killing of Jesus in order to score points with the romans.

Now any Christians preaching that Judas was a traitor have a fucking cheek! Yeah he may have sold Jesus out to The Romans which lead to his eventual death by crusifiction but blaming not only a completely innocent religion but one that Jesus belonged to for the killing of the lord rather than the people who actually did it is a bit harsh.

So there we have it the Jewish are histories most very favorite scape goats. Fair play to them after all the bad shit they have been through they can still get up on stage and have a laugh.

Anti-social Network

Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Bebo, Faceparty, Badoo, Tagged, Deniers of the Holocaust, Haters of Everything and Racist Scrapbook are just some social networks you can become a part of.

A social network is a website where you create a profile and then share useless information about yourself with people you used to go to school with or once met at Dan's Birthday. You know that girl you thought was quite good looking for a ginger? Yeah, well people like that.

Facebook has to be the king of Social networks at this present time. It has over 600 million active users and according to Social Media Today, in April 2010 an estimated 41.6% of the U.S. population have a Facebook account.

It's scary to think how many people are using up their lives and devoting so much time to this website. Imagine if the time spent updating your status or commenting on John's photo of Claire slipping in a puddle of her own vomit at last years Christmas party, was used productively to help destroy the opt in donors list, save certain animals from extinction or to help stop Andrew Lloyd-Webber from appearing on television ever again.

It's not just the waste of time that makes Facebook anti-social it's the fact that it is used as a shameless self promoting tool. This is something I bet you haven't even thought about before but how many time do you see people with a status like this: "Just got back from skiing, now off to do a gig in Holland". Should we actually give a shit about what people we once met are doing with their pathetic, little and boring lives?

Uploading pictures seems to be the most cringe worthy part of the Facebook self promotion as it is controlled in most by the people who are in the photographs. By this I mean they only ever post pictures of themselves that they like or think they look good in. This adds to the false sense of reality that comes from the Facebook community by showing utterly unrealistic representations of people.

Several problems come from this unrealistic representation, for instance people being insanely jealous of Sheryl because she looks like she's lost some weight and you haven't, or James looking like he knows loads of really sexy women and you don't. The chances are that you don't know any sexy women but James doesn't either, he just took a photo with some of his sisters friends while out that night when you were at your parents house with the flu.

So to conclude this essay (and it is an essay). Facebook is something that wastes time that could be put to better use. It makes people jealous of other people for no reason as their lives are equally as pathetic as everyone else's. It helps faceless evil companies advertise directly to you by monitoring what groups you are a member of. Therefore exploiting you in the most sick way possible, perhaps even more sick than sneaking up on you in the middle of the night and farting directly on your face while you sleep.

So next time you log in to Facebook just think about all the little furry animals that will die from you doing so - oh and sleep well...

Films Have Lied To You

When I was growing up watching films I assumed my life would be full of exciting things, cowboys or pirates perhaps? All that has occurred is a slow, expensive and uneventful life.

Now enough about me lets talk about you. Films have really helped shape the way you expect your life to pan out, how you expect your perfect man or woman to be, how you expect to be rich and happy and ultimately you will have lived a worthwhile life. This I'm sure has not happened.

Take romance for example, in films women are swept of their feet and wined and dined. Often men will come to blows in order to win the affection of a certain female. Has this ever happened to you?

Films like Love actually make women think that they will fall in mad all encompassing big pink and squidgey love. More often than not they will have a series of failed relationships perhaps involving a few cases of light domestic abuse before settling for Darren from accounts because he has his own house and isn't addicted to crystal meth.

Another way in which films bullshit you is by making you think life is actually exciting. They show you guys with guns chasing each other down the street and blowing each others heads off. The closest we get to something that exciting is by driving slowly past a motor way traffic accident. Have you ever even seen a gun? I haven't.

Has good ever actually won over evil? Certain films would have you believe that at the end of the day the evil bad guys will be brought to justice, yet in real life they kill John Lennon and somehow Andrew Lloyd-Webber is allowed to live.

Perhaps the government should take steps to liven the country up. Maybe remove every time keeping device or release wild baboons in to central London. I'm just brainstorming here really.

Don't get me wrong I really do love film with it's power to help us escape and learn about the world around us, but I also fear its capability to delude and mislead people about how life will be.

They can inspire us to go out and do great things, make us laugh, make us cry, make us think, make us jump, but also make us believe that America can save the world, which it can't really. Can it?

God Made Me An Atheist

Religion could be the most restrictive and negative thing that anyone can have in their lives, more so than not having the ability open your mouth or not being able to stop repeatedly hitting yourself in the head with a cricket bat.   It dictates what you can't do and seldom gives you a break. It is responsible for murder, war, the spreading of fatal diseases and Sarah Palin.  

 There is no evidence for the existence of god which makes me wonder why people kill and have been killed in the name of it.   I'm sorry there is evidence I hear you say, the bible. Of course any book written thousands of years ago is a good text book to lay down the way you should live your life in this ever changing diverse and modern world. Silly me. 

 Anyway back to the point. This week in the news appeared a rather bizarre article about a 19 year old, American, college basketball star who was kicked off the team and out of the college all together.   Now you must be thinking why? You are probably thinking he shot someone, raped someone, made racial remarks to a fellow baller? He did none of these.   Do you know what he did? He slept with his girlfriend. That's it That's all he did. They were both consenting and of legal age. They were in a relationship and they were in love.

 The reason he was kicked out was due to the deep religious beliefs of the school were sex before marriage is deemed as bad as running round the town shouting Jesus is a prat.

So put down those bibles and start living your life the way you want to, free from guilt and constraint. Or don't, its up to you.

 Other people in the news creating religious based controversy this week include that fashion guy John Galliano telling some Jewish people their grand parents should have been gassed and when Tony Blair said he hates the Jedi. Only one of these is true.  

Take Me Out

You remember that feeling when you were trying to desperately fall in love with someone by taking them out on "Dates", buying them things that you think will make you seem more attractive to them? No? Oh don't worry about it then ...

Seriously though the days of going on dates seem to be dead as now we can all find love on our old mate Television!

Take Me Out is a relitively new show where some slightly bedraggled, moronic, plain Jane women judge an equally irritating little prick who gyrates in front of them in order to catch their eye in a display not too dissimilar to a giant wanking peacock with learning difficulties.

Anyway the format of the show works like this: a guy is introduced to the "ladies" and after answering questions from the host and showing some videos of the guy(usually being "wacky" or "crazy"), the women decide whether they like him or not by leaving their light on or turning it off and so creating one of the best catchphrases of all time "no likey, no lighty!"

If by the end of all the humiliating gyrating and cocking about there are still any desperate women with their lights left on the guy gets to chose which one of the beautiful chavs he wants to take out on a date.

The worst thing about this show isn't its shit format or the 2 dimensional idiots they have on the show but the host. Paddy Mcguiness reels off pun after cliche after cringe infested link to camera. He seems to have as much genuine whit and character as a 3 month old used sanitary towel.

The only way this show could be any worse is if it somehow managed to spawn a spin off hosted by Catherine Tate, where former contestants come back and haunt the audience with stories of how they got married and then give a detailed description of how really happy and amazing their lives were until the day he left because he realised that she was devoid of any kind of personality or intelligence.

That actually sounds like a show I would watch, its such a shame I just made it up.

Why I Love The Black Keys

Yes its a positive blog for once. I know if anyone reads this blog then they will know by now that I rarely have anything positive to say that isn't steeped heavily in irony and sarcasm. However this week I am going to get all of my smiles and happy thoughts out for all the world to see.

So the Black keys have been around for a few years now and have amassed some really good albums in that time including their debut bluesy feeling The Big Come Up, Attack and Release and most recently Brothers. I have massively enjoyed all of the albums so far but none quite like Brothers.

The reason for this is not really known to me as it follows much the same formula that has been used in the past albums but somehow this time around its just much better. I know what you are thinking "this album came out ages ago. why is he talking about it now?" Ill answer that question in a minute.

First I feel I should point newcomers in the direction of the black keys latest music video which I am a big fan of. Its called Howlin' For You, the song its self is pretty good but is made all the better for a rather brilliant video to go with it. You can see it here.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLSpj7q6_mM

So to answer the question of why I am talking about it now. The reason is that when I first heard the album I was not a fan of it in any way. I feel this is the case with a lot of albums in the past that don't get given a chance to grow and be loved by their audience. A classic example of this is The Rolling Stone's Exile on Main Street as when it was released Rolling Stone had this to say about it, "there are songs that are better, there are songs that are worse, and others you'll probably lift the needle for when the time is due." This album has since been celebrated by the exact same people who panned it when it came out.

Some other tracks to listen out for on the album are unknown Brother, The only one and actually all the other tracks...

The Idiot Box

It seems too easy sometime to have a go at television with its need to appeal to as many people as it possibly can. This means having to appeal to idiots and geniuses alike, so sometimes you do get a slight lean towards the idiots because thats just easier innit.

Take the joke of British terrestrial broadcasting, Channel FIVE for example here with its lightweight throwaway celebrity news coverage and its soft porn at 3am on a Sunday morning. These are reasons for the channel's bad reputation and possible the reason it's still going.

Lets take a look at a day in the life of Channel FIVE: The channel awakes to the sounds of children playing and singing nursery rhymes.Five wipes its sleepy eyes in time for 9:15 am when reactionary day time chat show The Wright Stuff kicks off. Usually such heavy topics are discussed such as "Has Hamza Damaged Islam" where they get the views of renowned religious expert John Barrowman to help further enhance the relationship between throwaway homosexual celebrity and religious war.

Casual racism seems to be a popular topic, where Johnny Wright or whatever his name is makes jokes about getting all the illegal immigrants to power the country by some kind of mass slave exercise bikeathon, oh what will he think of next?

Maybe I'm being a little harsh on them because there are worse channels on digital TV than channel FIVE, such as The God channel( which has yet to have an interview with God), Nazi TV and Rape HD.